Death rituals
EPI’s mother died two nights ago. It was an easy and peaceful transition. His sister was with her and as soon as we got the call, EPI went to the hospital where he and his sister were joined by his other two sisters and his father. As is the case here in Iceland when someone dies in hospital, she was laid out in her bed with a picture of her next to the bed, and a candle. The family could then remain with her as long as they wished.
When someone dies, what generally happens is this: about a week after the death there is an open casket ceremony for the immediate family and those who were close to the deceased. It is a very private and intimate affair and any non-family people usually attend by invitation only. The ceremony is held in a small chapel and the service is conducted by the minister who later conducts the funeral service. He or she usually says a few words and then those who attend are given the opportunity to approach the casket.
To me this ceremony seems so eminently civilized. It gives the immediate family an opportunity to come together and take their leave of the deceased in a very private manner. Their most intense feelings of grief can be released before the actual funeral, during which people are often required to be – or wish to be – more composed.
The funeral itself is held a couple of days after the open casket ceremony. It is usually in a church and is normally announced in the paper and open to all. [For those who don’t know, the predominant religion in Iceland is Protestant-Lutheran.] After the ceremony, which is usually quite formal and includes choral singing and/or a classical musical recital, about eight pallbearers who were close to the deceased bear the casket out of the church and into a hearse. Those who wish to then drive in a procession to the cemetery where there is a short burial ceremony. Immediately after the church ceremony there is a reception with [copious amounts of] refreshments, where the atmosphere is usually fairly relaxed and people have a chance to meet and chat. This lasts for a couple of hours, after which the funeral is officially over.
On the day of the funeral, obituaries appear in Iceland’s longest-running daily paper, Morgunblaðið. Here anyone can write an article about the deceased and send it in to the paper, and it will be published free of charge. This is a tradition that many people criticize and find exceedingly lame, seeing as how these articles generally give a very one-sided view of the person [their faults are usually not highlighted!] and can sometimes be highly emotional [Icelanders have a strong aversion to sentimentality].
Personally I couldn’t disagree more. I think this is a wonderful tradition. One of the amazing and unique things about living in Iceland is that every person matters. Nobody is forgotten – everyone means something. And to honour the individual like that on the day they are buried is an amazing and wonderful thing in my opinion – even if his or her flaws are not being shouted from the rooftops.
MEANWHILE, THE WEATHER…
… continues to be sombre, like the mood. Right now it is overcast and a little windy with temps around 13°C. It has stopped raining, though – for the time being. The sun came up at 3.02 this morning and will set at 23.59.
When someone dies, what generally happens is this: about a week after the death there is an open casket ceremony for the immediate family and those who were close to the deceased. It is a very private and intimate affair and any non-family people usually attend by invitation only. The ceremony is held in a small chapel and the service is conducted by the minister who later conducts the funeral service. He or she usually says a few words and then those who attend are given the opportunity to approach the casket.
To me this ceremony seems so eminently civilized. It gives the immediate family an opportunity to come together and take their leave of the deceased in a very private manner. Their most intense feelings of grief can be released before the actual funeral, during which people are often required to be – or wish to be – more composed.
The funeral itself is held a couple of days after the open casket ceremony. It is usually in a church and is normally announced in the paper and open to all. [For those who don’t know, the predominant religion in Iceland is Protestant-Lutheran.] After the ceremony, which is usually quite formal and includes choral singing and/or a classical musical recital, about eight pallbearers who were close to the deceased bear the casket out of the church and into a hearse. Those who wish to then drive in a procession to the cemetery where there is a short burial ceremony. Immediately after the church ceremony there is a reception with [copious amounts of] refreshments, where the atmosphere is usually fairly relaxed and people have a chance to meet and chat. This lasts for a couple of hours, after which the funeral is officially over.
On the day of the funeral, obituaries appear in Iceland’s longest-running daily paper, Morgunblaðið. Here anyone can write an article about the deceased and send it in to the paper, and it will be published free of charge. This is a tradition that many people criticize and find exceedingly lame, seeing as how these articles generally give a very one-sided view of the person [their faults are usually not highlighted!] and can sometimes be highly emotional [Icelanders have a strong aversion to sentimentality].
Personally I couldn’t disagree more. I think this is a wonderful tradition. One of the amazing and unique things about living in Iceland is that every person matters. Nobody is forgotten – everyone means something. And to honour the individual like that on the day they are buried is an amazing and wonderful thing in my opinion – even if his or her flaws are not being shouted from the rooftops.
MEANWHILE, THE WEATHER…
… continues to be sombre, like the mood. Right now it is overcast and a little windy with temps around 13°C. It has stopped raining, though – for the time being. The sun came up at 3.02 this morning and will set at 23.59.
posted by Alda at 3:04 PM
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