This installment is brought to you from the kitchen table
10.50 pm. To my right, two lit candles. I've just enjoyed a glass of red wine - spoils of the Yuletide season. EPI is in the other room - faint echoes of his guitar reach me. AAH is already in bed - school starts tomorrow. Polly the cockatiel has also been tucked away for the night. All is quiet and serene. I relish moments, times, like this, especially late in the evening, when nothing disturbs the free-flow of my thoughts, when my mind is at ease.
I am immensely relieved that the Christmas ruckus is over. I always am. Even though these past few years I have been at peace with Christmas. It wasn't always so. It used to be a miserable time for me - a time that reminded me of my inadequacies and all the things I lacked. Not so now. Now I am thankful for all the things I have, and how my life has changed. I'm very lucky.
Still. Chistmas is a time of incessant activity, of many goings-on, and I am a person who thrives in calm surroundings. I need calm to maintain my inner serenity and sense of self [which is why I feel consistently grateful to have the opportunity to work from home]. Christmas is also a time of heightened emotions. I usually have at least one meltdown during the season, and this year was no exception. It doesn't get documented in this space - but it happens.
Conversely, I love the beginnig of a new year, stretched out before me with infinite possibilities and much promise. I know many people who dread the onset of January, when the pretty coloured lights disappear from the trees and windows, and the dull grey of winter sets in. Not me. I notice how the day gets a little bit longer each day, and how life pulls me in and challenges me to participate. I notice the calm, and the feeling of renewal. This year, I have an especially good feeling. I have a feeling it's going to be a good year.
I never make traditional 'resolutions' - but I have a few clear goals that at this moment I'm pretty excited about. If I do make any sort of resolution, it's that I resolve to stay open to Good Things. I know that when I stay open to Good Things - particularly if I remember to affirm it each day - then surprising and wonderful things happen, things I never could have envisioned with my limited imagination [because my imagination is limited, shaped by my preconceptions and experiences of the past]. As a matter of fact, today something surprising and wonderful did. I can't tell you about it for various reasons, but there's something in the air. A hint, a scent of something wild, and good.
And because I'm feeling particularly reflective tonight, I thought I'd leave you with one of my favourite quotes to mull over. I don't remember where I read it, or who it is attributed to [if you know, please tell me]. It is this:
I am immensely relieved that the Christmas ruckus is over. I always am. Even though these past few years I have been at peace with Christmas. It wasn't always so. It used to be a miserable time for me - a time that reminded me of my inadequacies and all the things I lacked. Not so now. Now I am thankful for all the things I have, and how my life has changed. I'm very lucky.
Still. Chistmas is a time of incessant activity, of many goings-on, and I am a person who thrives in calm surroundings. I need calm to maintain my inner serenity and sense of self [which is why I feel consistently grateful to have the opportunity to work from home]. Christmas is also a time of heightened emotions. I usually have at least one meltdown during the season, and this year was no exception. It doesn't get documented in this space - but it happens.
Conversely, I love the beginnig of a new year, stretched out before me with infinite possibilities and much promise. I know many people who dread the onset of January, when the pretty coloured lights disappear from the trees and windows, and the dull grey of winter sets in. Not me. I notice how the day gets a little bit longer each day, and how life pulls me in and challenges me to participate. I notice the calm, and the feeling of renewal. This year, I have an especially good feeling. I have a feeling it's going to be a good year.
I never make traditional 'resolutions' - but I have a few clear goals that at this moment I'm pretty excited about. If I do make any sort of resolution, it's that I resolve to stay open to Good Things. I know that when I stay open to Good Things - particularly if I remember to affirm it each day - then surprising and wonderful things happen, things I never could have envisioned with my limited imagination [because my imagination is limited, shaped by my preconceptions and experiences of the past]. As a matter of fact, today something surprising and wonderful did. I can't tell you about it for various reasons, but there's something in the air. A hint, a scent of something wild, and good.
And because I'm feeling particularly reflective tonight, I thought I'd leave you with one of my favourite quotes to mull over. I don't remember where I read it, or who it is attributed to [if you know, please tell me]. It is this:
"I have willed to go forward, and have not advanced beyond the borders of my grave."
It may not mean a lot to you, but it means the world to me.
OUR WEATHER IS NOWHERE NEAR THE DREARY JANUARY WEATHER OF MYTH
And in fact is more like spring. [So what else is new?] It started off with fairly strong winds from the north, but with intense, golden sunshine around noon. I chose my running path accordingly - heading out to where I would actually see the sun [it is not visible in the vicinity of any building taller than three storeys these days, as it is so low in the sky]. We're in for southerly winds and rain or sleet tomorrow. Right now it is 2°C and sunrise was at 11.17, sunset at 15.48.
OUR WEATHER IS NOWHERE NEAR THE DREARY JANUARY WEATHER OF MYTH
And in fact is more like spring. [So what else is new?] It started off with fairly strong winds from the north, but with intense, golden sunshine around noon. I chose my running path accordingly - heading out to where I would actually see the sun [it is not visible in the vicinity of any building taller than three storeys these days, as it is so low in the sky]. We're in for southerly winds and rain or sleet tomorrow. Right now it is 2°C and sunrise was at 11.17, sunset at 15.48.
Labels: Reflections
posted by Alda at 10:49 PM
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