The meaning of the quote

Remember the other day when I was feeling particularly reflective? I left you with my favourite quote: I have willed to go forward, and have not advanced beyond the borders of my grave.

Paul left a comment in which he metaphorically scratched his head over YT’s vagueness. As well he might. The thing is, I’ve not been very prone to delving into the more profound facets of life in this space, preferring to stick to lighter fare. But since Paul asked, and since I sort of opened the lid of this Pandora’s box just a crack, here comes my interpretation, put as plainly as I can manage.

For me, at a very basic level, that quote sums up the ineffectiveness of applying willpower. I mean, how many times at year-end have you said to yourself: “I have got to stop/start drinking / smoking / exercising/ running /writing that book ... this year I’m going to do it ... all I need is more willpower.” Personally I’ve said variations of those phrases a hundred times in the past, and I still say them, even though several years ago I learned perhaps the most important truth of my life: my willpower is completely ineffective in the face of my own shortcomings and flaws. In other words, I cannot overcome my own flaws/shortcomings, e.g. my tendency to procrastinate, with my own willpower alone. I’ve tried – lots – and it doesn’t work.

The only thing that works, in my experience, is surrendering and accepting my own powerlessness. Insanity has been defined as doing the same thing over and over and over again and hoping for a different result. My own attempts at facilitating changes in my own circumstances were completely futile; however I have been lucky enough to find a set of tools that have completely changed my life.

I could write an entire book on the subject, and perhaps one day I will. But the important thing now is that the quote above – my favourite quote – sums up the first step on that journey – admitting my powerlessness, and admitting that doing the same thing as I’ve always done, willing myself to go forward, is tantamount to staying trapped in my grave; not reaching my potential, not participating fully in life, not being really alive in the true sense of the word.

SPEAKING OF LIGHTER FARE, HERE IS THE ICELAND WEATHER REPORT
It turned colder last night and when I looked out the window this morning there was a thin layer of snow over everything. The day was spent mostly indoors – taking down the Christmas tree and such, since yesterday was Þrettándinn [Twelfth Night], the official end of Christmas here in Niceland. [I’m so glad we have this tradition of getting rid of the tree on Þrettándinn - I’ve decided there is nothing so desolate as a desiccated Christmas tree.] Went out mid-afternoon, though, and the light was gorgeous – that blue-and-pink-hued sky that comes with cold weather, and Mt. Esja all covered in white across the bay. At the moment it is 5°C, the wind is picking up, and the sun came up at 11.11 and went down at 15.57. – Oh! What do I see when checking the temps on mbl.is ... Magnús Magnússon, one of the best-known Icelanders of all time, has died in the UK. May he rest in peace.