It's always the innocent ones
Remember our meth-head neighbours? The ones that provided hours of gratuitous entertainment in September-October-November ... except when they were blasting techno-music, fighting, or breaking into our place to steal our stuff ... which, come to think of it, was most of the time
Anyway, they left this behind:
That's right. Caught in the middle of the fray was this innocent little house plant, which was deposited out into their front yard in the midst of their ugly break-up, remained there while the Viking Squad stormed the place in full regalia, and was eventually abandoned as everything else in the apartment was carted into a moving van and taken away.
From my window I have watched with growing admiration as this little house plant has survived not only living in a methanine drug den, but sub-zero temperatures down to -10°C, tempests, sleet, cloudbursts, and now the greatest amount of snow since 2001.
OK. You might want to have a seat before you read this staggering bit of information: YT is a bit of a softie. And the fate of this little potted plant has preoccupied me enormously. I mean, think of the sheer will to live! The endurance in the face of adversity! The never losing hope! So recently I have caught myself verbalizing my innermost thoughts, out of the blue, involuntarily, at the most inappropriate times, like in the midst of cleaning up after dinner:
YT: You know, I've got a good mind to go out there and just take that plant.
These utterances have generally been met with a decided lack of resonance by the other members of the YT household. Like today, in the midst of loading the dishwasher, when I caught myself gazing wistfully out of the window, yet again, at the plant outside.
YT: You know, I'm going to go out there right now and take that plant.
EPI: Wellll... you know... it is someone else's property...
YT: [agitated] Yeah, but that plant has been sitting there for two frigging months and nobody seems to give a damn about what happens to it!! There's nobody even living there! They've just left it out there to die! How can you just stand by and watch it die and not do anything!?
EPI: [backing off slowly] Um... ok... if you really want it that bad...
YT: Yes, but... where would we put it?
So you see, the thing is - it's not that I need another house plant. It's not even that I particularly want another house plant. It's just that... I can't stand to see that thing abandoned, neglected, and fighting for its life. You know?*
And that is why you should not take me to Africa.
WE BEAT THEM WE BEAT THEM WE BEAT THEM WE BEAT THEM...
27 centimetres of snow, and damn proud we are of it too, because you know what? WE BEAT AKUREYRI!! WHOO-HOO!!! That's what they keep going on about in the news. WE BEAT AKUREYRI, BECAUSE WE HAVE 27 CM OF SNOW AND AKUREYRI ONLY HAS 7 CM!! [Akureyri is in the north, you see, and they traditionally get all the snow, while we get just little wet flakes of sleet that disappear within seconds of hitting the ground. But not now, because] WE BEAT AKUREYRI and we have 27 cm and they have only 7 cm!!! [And this has not happened since, oh, 1765 or something.] So anyway, in other exciting news, we now have -4°C and sunrise was at 10.57 and sunset at 16.16.
* OK I concede that the little house plant might be made out of plastic. Or that it might be bugged, like those Canadian coins they found. Or that there might be amphetamine worth millions of ISK hidden inside by the disappearing neighbours who are have probably been locked up by now. - All the more reason to rescue it, you say?
Anyway, they left this behind:
That's right. Caught in the middle of the fray was this innocent little house plant, which was deposited out into their front yard in the midst of their ugly break-up, remained there while the Viking Squad stormed the place in full regalia, and was eventually abandoned as everything else in the apartment was carted into a moving van and taken away.
From my window I have watched with growing admiration as this little house plant has survived not only living in a methanine drug den, but sub-zero temperatures down to -10°C, tempests, sleet, cloudbursts, and now the greatest amount of snow since 2001.
OK. You might want to have a seat before you read this staggering bit of information: YT is a bit of a softie. And the fate of this little potted plant has preoccupied me enormously. I mean, think of the sheer will to live! The endurance in the face of adversity! The never losing hope! So recently I have caught myself verbalizing my innermost thoughts, out of the blue, involuntarily, at the most inappropriate times, like in the midst of cleaning up after dinner:
YT: You know, I've got a good mind to go out there and just take that plant.
These utterances have generally been met with a decided lack of resonance by the other members of the YT household. Like today, in the midst of loading the dishwasher, when I caught myself gazing wistfully out of the window, yet again, at the plant outside.
YT: You know, I'm going to go out there right now and take that plant.
EPI: Wellll... you know... it is someone else's property...
YT: [agitated] Yeah, but that plant has been sitting there for two frigging months and nobody seems to give a damn about what happens to it!! There's nobody even living there! They've just left it out there to die! How can you just stand by and watch it die and not do anything!?
EPI: [backing off slowly] Um... ok... if you really want it that bad...
YT: Yes, but... where would we put it?
So you see, the thing is - it's not that I need another house plant. It's not even that I particularly want another house plant. It's just that... I can't stand to see that thing abandoned, neglected, and fighting for its life. You know?*
And that is why you should not take me to Africa.
WE BEAT THEM WE BEAT THEM WE BEAT THEM WE BEAT THEM...
27 centimetres of snow, and damn proud we are of it too, because you know what? WE BEAT AKUREYRI!! WHOO-HOO!!! That's what they keep going on about in the news. WE BEAT AKUREYRI, BECAUSE WE HAVE 27 CM OF SNOW AND AKUREYRI ONLY HAS 7 CM!! [Akureyri is in the north, you see, and they traditionally get all the snow, while we get just little wet flakes of sleet that disappear within seconds of hitting the ground. But not now, because] WE BEAT AKUREYRI and we have 27 cm and they have only 7 cm!!! [And this has not happened since, oh, 1765 or something.] So anyway, in other exciting news, we now have -4°C and sunrise was at 10.57 and sunset at 16.16.
* OK I concede that the little house plant might be made out of plastic. Or that it might be bugged, like those Canadian coins they found. Or that there might be amphetamine worth millions of ISK hidden inside by the disappearing neighbours who are have probably been locked up by now. - All the more reason to rescue it, you say?
Labels: Trivia
posted by Alda at 11:01 PM
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